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Thanks for asking such an important question! Vaginal discharge is fluid that comes from the vagina. You might see this on the toilet paper when you wipe, or in your underwear. Normal vaginal discharge has several purposes including cleaning and moistening the vagina, as well as helping to prevent and fight infections. It is normal to have discharge every day, and it is usually whiteish or clear in color.
If your discharge changes in smell, color, or texture, such as having a frothy or cottage cheese-like consistency, turning a shade of green, yellow or gray, you should consider seeing a health care provider. This might be a sign of a vaginal infection or STD.
Great question! Menstrual cups are a reusable alternative to tampons or pads. Unlike tampons and pads that are made of a cotton blend and are single use (meaning you use it once and throw it away), menstrual cups are typically made of medical grade silicone and are reusable. They’re sold in a variety of sizes and while they may look large, they’re actually not as big as they seem!
Since they are made of silicone, they are very flexible and are folded in half before insertion. If someone finds insertion difficult or painful they can try wetting the rim with water or a water-based lubricant. The cup should be inserted rim up. Once inserted in the vaginal canal it is rotated/twisted, this opens it up to form a seal and catch menstrual fluid. If inserted correctly it should be just below the cervix and most people won’t even be able to feel that it’s there.
Menstrual cups hold more fluid than tampons and pads and as such do not need to be emptied as often as you would change a pad or tampon throughout the day. Menstrual cups can be kept in place for up to 12 hours depending on how heavy someone’s flow is. When someone wants to empty their menstrual cup, they simply pull the stem with their thumb and forefinger until they can grasp the base of the cup and pull it out. Once out, dump the contents, wash and reinsert. A menstrual cup should be emptied twice a day, or more frequently if someone has a heavier flow. If someone is concerned about making a mess, they can take out their cup in the shower. To keep the menstrual cup clean it should be boiled according to package instructions at the end of each cycle and at the beginning of each cycle/right before next use.
Menstrual cups are a great option for people looking for an ecofriendly alternative to disposable pads and tampons and are comfortable with the insertion process. If you would like to learn more you can visit this website: Learn about Menstrual Cups – Meet the DIVA™ Cup – DIVA US (shopdiva.com)
That is a great question! Douches are vaginal cleansing products sold by many “feminine hygiene” companies. Douching is marketed by these companies as a way to “wash” or “freshen up” the vagina, and usually consists of a bag or bottle containing a mixture of antiseptics, fragrances, and other substances which are flushed into the vagina using a tube.
However, there is no evidence supporting the claims of these companies as to the supposed benefits of their products. In fact, douching can harm the balance of natural bacteria that grow in the vagina which usually keep problem causing bacteria and yeast in check. That means douching can actually increase someone’s likelihood of developing bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections.
Vaginas are naturally self-cleansing, so contrary to what these companies may advertise, you do not need a special product to maintain cleanliness. If you’re concerned about cleanliness or smell, health professionals advise using a mild, fragrance-free soap on the pubic area, and only warm water on the vulva and around the vaginal opening.
The birth control pill is an effective form of birth control that is safe for most people, but, like with all medications, it can have some risks and side effects. The birth control pill contains hormones that change the way the body works in order to prevent pregnancy. The hormones in the pill can cause side effects for some people. Negative side effects can include headaches, nausea, sore breasts, spotting, anxiety, and changes in the timing of your period. But for many people these stop after a few months. The good news is that the pill may also have some positive side effects such as regulating your period, making it lighter, and causing less cramps. The pill can also help prevent acne, anemia, cysts in breasts and ovaries, and some forms of cancer.
To find out if the birth control pill right for you, you should talk with your doctor about your health history and any other medications you are taking. If you are worried about the side effects of the birth control pill, there are other effective forms of birth control that don’t have any hormones. These include the copper IUD and condoms.
Finally, don’t forget that the birth control pill does not protect you from sexually transmitted infections, so condoms should also be used to lower the chances of getting or spreading STIs.
For more information about your birth control options, check out this interactive resource from Planned Parenthood.
Unlike a lot of food, condoms don’t become gross, toxic, or harmful to your health once they expire. HOWEVER, they do become less effective and more likely to break during sex the longer they are expired. For the best protection, you should be using latex or latex free condoms that are not expired. If all you have is an expired condom, using it is certainly better than no protection at all, but the responsible decision would be to wait to have sex until you had one that was not expired.
Condoms come in many different shapes, sizes, colors, materials, textures, and yes, even flavors! Flavored condoms are designed to be used during oral sex, that is, when someone stimulates their partner’s penis with their mouth. Flavor condoms should never be used for penetrative sex, like vaginal or anal sex. This is because the artificial sugars and flavorings used on flavored condoms can cause irritation or infections of the vagina or anus.
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about condoms and how to use them effectively.
A lot of people believe that you have to be an adult (aka 18 or older) in order to purchase condoms, but that is a MYTH! In the United States, there is no age restriction on buying condoms, meaning that ANYONE can purchase condoms at ANY AGE! It is illegal for a store clerk to ask to see your ID or refuse to sell a minor condoms. You can avoid dealing with cashiers altogether if you use self check out.
Condoms can be purchased at many different places, including grocery stores, supermarkets, gas stations, convenience stores, pharmacies, and online sites like Amazon. You can even get them for free at many clinics, like Planned Parenthood. If you have trouble finding or purchasing condoms, reach out and we can help you!
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about condoms and how to use them effectively.
You would think so, but doubling up on condoms DOES NOT give you double protection. In fact, it gives you less protection than just using one condom. This is because if two or more condoms are used at the same time, they can rub against each other, causing friction. Friction is the enemy of condoms and can cause them to break. Only one condom (either one external condom or one internal condom) should be used at a time.
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about condoms and how to use them effectively.
Great question! While unintended pregnancy would not be a concern in the relationship described, STD transmission should be. A lot of times when we talk about condoms, we are talking about their use during penetrative vaginal sex (penis in vagina) or anal sex (penis in anus). However, condoms may have different applications in different relationships. In a relationship between two people with a vulva and vagina, traditional, external condoms may be used to cover shared sex toys to prevent the exchange of vaginal fluids. Condoms could be used as a dental dam, if modified. A dental dam is thin sheet of latex or polyurethane that is used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex.
Click here to learn more about dental dams and how to turn an external condom into one.
Definitely not! The only thing that should be used as a condom, is a condom. Things like socks, cling wrap, plastic bags, and other household items DO NOT provide STD and pregnancy protection like condoms do. If you are having trouble accessing condoms, reach back out and we can help you!
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about condoms and how to use them effectively.
Finding out that you’re pregnant can be very difficult, especially if you are a teen and the pregnancy was unplanned. You likely feel confused, scared, worried, and nervous. Those feelings (and many others) are completely normal. Try to stay calm and remember these two things: you do have options and you don’t have to handle this situation all on your own.
If you are pregnant, you have three options:
You have the right to choose the option that is best for you, even if your friends, parents, or partner, don’t agree. Just remember, there are many things to take into consideration before making a decision as big as this one. It’s important for you to take the time to learn about the pros and cons of each option, examine your personal values and beliefs, think about your hopes and dreams for the future, and assess your current financial situation before deciding.
It can be scary to start this conversation, but you may find it helpful to talk to your parents or a trusting adult regarding your thoughts and feelings about being pregnant and the options available to you. They may be able to help you remain calm and process everything that is going on in your head. There are also several local and national resources available to discuss all three options with you, including a confidential hotline. Some teens find it helpful to talk to a professional about their situation, someone who is caring, compassionate, and capable of remaining neutral.
Check out this AMAZE video for some more information.
No, you cannot get pregnant from having anal sex. However, the opening of the vagina is very close to the anus and it may be possible for a partner to accidentally get semen in the vagina without meaning to. If this were to happen, pregnancy may be possible. To reduce the chance of this happening, your partner should wear a condom during anal sex. In addition to helping to prevent pregnancy, condoms greatly reduce the chances of contracting and spreading sexually transmitted infections.
Finding out that you’re pregnant can be very difficult. You might feel confused, scared, worried, or shocked by the news. Those feelings (and many others) are completely normal. Just remember, you don’t have to handle this all on your own. Your mom may turn out to be a valuable resource to help you make important decisions and support your choices, but you need to tell her first.
Start by imagining how your mom might respond to the news. Some parents may cry and yell, others may go silent, and others still may spring into action. While you will never know for sure until you tell her, lots of teens are surprised at how supportive their parents turn out to be. Second, pick a good time and place to talk to your mom. Having this conversation may not be easy, no matter when or where, but things should go smoother if both you and your mom are calm, free from distractions, and able to focus on the issue at hand. Next, figure out what to say in advance. Putting your feelings into words is not easy, so don’t worry if you cry or get emotional as you’re saying them. It may help to be as clear and direct as possible. You could say something like, “I have something difficult to tell you. I found out that I’m pregnant”, then wait for her reaction. Make sure to give your mom time to process what you are telling her and express her feelings without interrupting her, even if that means letting her vent.
Once the initial shock wears off, you may then be able to talk to your mom about all of your options and what support you need. Becoming a teen parent can seriously affect your hopes and dreams for the future, things that are really important to you. Is that something you are ready for? Whatever you decide, make sure it is something you can be proud of, both now and in the future.
There’s no “best time” to break the news to your parents that you’re pregnant other than when you are ready. For example, if the pregnancy was unplanned, you or your partner may first need time to process what’s going on before telling anyone.
However, keep in mind there are a few legalities to consider that may make telling your parents sooner rather than later necessary, like if you want an abortion. If you decide you want to end the pregnancy, you may live in a state where you need parental consent (aka permission) to have an abortion. Thankfully in New York, minors are able to access abortion and other reproductive health services without parental consent, so that is not as much of a concern here.
Talking to your parents sooner rather than later, if it is safe to do so, is definitely a good idea though. If you plan to stay pregnant and either keep the baby, or put it up for adoption, they will find out eventually.
Conception/Fertilization (when an ovulated egg cell is fertilized by a sperm cell) can take place as soon as three minutes after sex or it may take up to 5 days. Implantation (when the fertilized egg attaches to the uterine wall) occurs 5 to 10 days after fertilization—which means it can happen anywhere from 5 to 15 days after you had sex. Pregnancy officially begins during implantation, so it takes 5-15 days to get pregnant after unprotected sex. Someone will likely not notice any pregnancy signs or symptoms until several weeks later, especially if they don’t have a predictable menstrual cycle.
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Typically no, but sometimes yes! Let us explain:
Somebody can only get pregnant if they have a vagina, uterus, and other reproductive organs that are associated with females. So someone who is a cisgender girl (they were assigned a girl at birth and identify as a girl now); someone who is a transgender boy (they were assigned a girl at birth and identify as a boy now); or someone who was assigned a girl at birth but identifies as non-binary now, would be able to get pregnant.
Humans cannot get dogs pregnant, and dogs cannot get humans pregnant. Similarly, STIs (sexually transmitted infections) we associate with person-to-person sexual contact, including HIV, cannot be transmitted through sexual contact between humans and animals, including dogs, because these infections are species-specific. Remember, the “H” in “HIV” stands for human – that tells you who it infects (and who it doesn’t).
STDs are cause by microscopic viruses, bacteria, or parasites, so no you can’t see them.
You also can’t tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them. STDs are often asymptomatic, meaning that they will not show any physical symptoms. However, there are some physical symptoms of STDs that we can see, such as rashes, warts, pimples, or bumps on the genital area or near the mouth. Also, someone could see if they had any kind of unusual discharge from the vagina or penis, which is another possible symptom. But since most often STDs do not show any symptoms, the only way to know would be to get tested.
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about STDs, their signs and symptoms, and STD testing.
Good question! Before answering though, we want to make it clear that pornography is explicit sexual material created for adults 18 and older. We don’t recommend that teens watch porn, as much of it contains sexual violence, unhealthy relationships, unrealistic expectations of a partner, and unachievable physical body standards. Porn should never be your source of sex education. Check out this AMAZE video that talks about the differences between porn and real life relationships.
Now, on to your question. While the people portrayed in pornographic videos may seem like they are being spontaneous, everything is actually agreed upon in advance, scripted, edited, and very well regulated. It is common practice in the porn industry that all performers are STD tested before filming and are required to be on a form of birth control. This how they can seemingly have unprotected sex all the time and never experience any consequences.
While we do not recommend that people routinely share personal hygiene items like razors, there is very, very little risk of transmitting an STD this way. It is far more likely to get a fungal infection, like jock itch, or a staph infection from sharing a razor.
The short answer is yes… BUT not the type of herpes virus that usually causes genital herpes.
There are two types of Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), more commonly referred to simply as herpes. Cold sores are caused by something called HSV-1 which is super common and can be caught by sharing drinks, kissing, or other common skin to skin contact.
If you have an active cold sore you should NOT perform any type of oral sex on another person because it can spread to their genitals. Herpes genital warts are usually caused by HSV-2, but can be caused by HSV-1.
About 1 in 2 Americans ages 14-49 are infected with HSV-1, and approximately 1 in 8 of the same age range are infected with HSV-2. It is very common and should not be stigmatized. While herpes cannot be cured, it can be treated and managed, and proper precautions can keep it from spreading.
Pink eye is an inflammation (redness) of the conjunctiva, the clear tissue that lines the inside surface of your eyelid and outer coating of your eye. You can get pink eye from viruses, bacteria, allergens, and other causes. Some STDs, like herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, can cause pink eyes if the infected body fluid, like vaginal secretions or semen, comes in contact with the eye. This mode of transmission is less common than getting pink eye from viruses and bacteria that cause the common cold, flu, and strep. To avoid pink eye, wash your hands frequently, especially after using the bathroom and coming into contact with any body fluid that could transmit an STD or any other virus or bacteria. You should also avoid touching your face and eyes as much as possible.
There are many different ways different people can experience sexual pleasure. This could include vaginal, anal, or oral sex, masturbation, or even someone stimulating their penis on different body parts of their partner, like their breasts (aka boobs). This is sometimes called a “boob job”. There is no risk of giving or getting a STI by putting your penis between a partner’s breasts, as long as you are careful that no semen gets in a partner’s mouth, eyes, or any open cuts.
Trichomoniasis (aka trich) is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that is caused by the parasite Trichomonas Vaginalis. Although symptoms vary, most people who have trich cannot tell they have it. Unlike viral STIs, like HIV and herpes, parasitic STIs are curable! Someone can cure trichomoniasis by going to the doctor and taking medication that gets rid of the parasite, thus curing this STI. Condoms can be used to help prevent STIs, including trichomoniasis.
HIV, or human immunodeficiency virus, is often considered the most dangerous sexually transmitted disease. HIV is not curable, meaning that once someone is infected, they will always have it. If left untreated, HIV and progress into AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome), resulting in severe damage to immune system and, eventually, death.
That being said, HIV is easy to prevent if you know how it is transmitted and what precautions to take. HIV is passed from person to person through contact with five body fluids: blood, semen, vaginal fluids, rectal fluids, and breast milk. To prevent HIV, someone should refrain from having unprotected sex and from sharing needles for drug use or any other reason. Using condoms correctly and consistently each and every time someone has sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) is a great way to reduce the risk of HIV or another STD infection.
Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by bacterium Treponema Pallidum. Because it is a bacterial STD, syphilis can be cured with the proper medical treatment. However, if left untreated, it can progress through stages and cause serious health complications.
Many refer to syphilis as “The Great Pretender”, as its symptoms can look like many other diseases and vary from stage to stage. We will list out some of the possible symptoms here but remember: the only way to know if you have a STD is to get tested!
Stage 1: Primary Stage
Stage 2: Secondary Stage – The symptoms of secondary syphilis will go away with or without treatment. However, without treatment, the infection will progress to the latent and possibly tertiary stage of disease.
Stage 3: Latent Stage – The latent (hidden) stage of syphilis is a period when there are no visible signs or symptoms of syphilis. Without treatment, syphilis will remain in the body even though there are no signs or symptoms. Latent syphilis can last for years.
Stage 4: Tertiary Syphilis – Tertiary syphilis is rare and develops in a subset of untreated syphilis infections. It can appear 10–30 years after a person gets the infection, and it can be fatal. Tertiary syphilis can affect multiple organ systems, including the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, liver, bones, and joints. Symptoms of tertiary syphilis vary depending on the organ system affected.
Dating can be so confusing! There are no laws that regulate dating in New York State. You and your 15-year-old partner are going to be guided by the rules and expectations of your friends, parents, school, church, etc., and your own person boundaries. That said, most people would consider the age difference from 12 to 15 to be concerning and here’s why.
Sexual activity and a power imbalance are two big concerns people have about big age differences in teen couples. Younger partners in teen relationships are more likely to feel pressured to act the way the older teen partner wants. This could include pressure to have sex. And while the law says nothing about dating, it has a lot to say about sex and sexual activity. Neither of you can legally consent to any sexual activity until you are 17 years old. So, while a brief kiss on the face or lips wouldn’t trigger any legal issue, making out (and anything more intense than that) might cross the line and start raising red flags. So here’s the thing: right now you two hanging out may get you a few odd looks, but no big consequences. But if the relationship becomes sexual, the consequences could be huge. We hope you can use this information to have an open and honest conversation with your partner and your parents or other trusted adults in your life.
It sounds like you are concerned about losing your best friend if you act on the new feelings you have for him. You are right to be cautious and concerned. A relationship not based on honesty can never be super healthy. If you have lasting feelings for your best friend and you try to hide them, the deception could hurt the friendship.
But wait! Feelings are complicated and often confusing. It’s hard to know exactly what you’re feeling when you are learning who you are and what you want out of life. Feelings are not bad, but they also don’t have to be acted on right away.
Think about the huge number of words there are for romantic relationships. You can be crushing on someone, in love with them, hooking up, talking to them….You get the idea. Take it slow. There’s no rush. You’ll have to take some risks to let your best friend know how you feel, but make sure the feelings are going to last and it’s not just a passing impulse.
Figuring out just how you feel is key and talking about it privately is a great idea. You already took a good first step by asking an anonymous question! Is there a trusted adult or older sibling you can talk to? It might help to hear from someone you respect how their feelings changed when they were your age.
Yes. Someone who is asleep cannot consent to sexual activity, so that would be rape. The FRIES Model can help you remember the key elements of consent. Consent must be Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific, and Sober. Someone who is asleep cannot freely give informed, enthusiastic consent to any activity, especially sexual activity.
If you have experienced something like this, talk to a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, or guidance counselor, right away.
Check out this AMAZE video to learn more about consent.
It sounds like you’re starting to explore your sexual orientation! Sexual orientation is all about who you feel attracted to emotionally, romantically, physically, and sexually. Teens who are attracted to others of a different gender (for example, girls who are attracted to boys) often call themselves ‘straight’ or heterosexual. Teens who are attracted to the same gender (for example, girls who are attracted to other girls) may call themselves gay, lesbian, or homosexual. Teens who are attracted to both boys and girls may use the term ‘bi’ or bisexual to describe their sexual orientation. Teens who are attracted to individuals who identify with non-binary genders or all genders might use words like queer or pansexual, and those who are unsure of their sexual orientation might call themselves questioning.
There’s nothing wrong weird or gross about any of these sexual orientations; they are just different. Being one or another doesn’t make you any better or worse than anyone else. Sexual orientation can be dynamic and fluid. Who you are attracted to and in what ways can change and develop over time. Don’t feel too much pressure to find the “right” label right away. It’s ok to change the way you identify as you figure yourself out or as the way you feel changes. You don’t have to fit neatly into any one box. If the term gay (or bi, or queer, or questioning) feels right to you, go for it! If it doesn’t, try another label on for size. Just remember that a label does not define you- it merely describes a part of you. By all means, continue to explore your sexual orientation. Just don’t feel like you need to stress out about it.
Large amounts of precum is not a health concern, according to studies. However, it can be uncomfortable when the amount of precum a male releases soaks through their underwear when they get aroused. If the amount of precum your penis produces when you are aroused causes issues and extreme discomfort, then it might be a good idea to see a doctor.
Intersex is an umbrella term that describes bodies that fall outside the strict male/female binary, or when a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the boxes of “female” or “male”. There are lots of ways someone can be intersex.
Some intersex people have genitals or internal sex organs that fall outside the male/female categories — such as a person with both ovarian and testicular tissues. Other intersex people have combinations of chromosomes that are different than XY (usually associated with male) and XX (usually associated with female), such as XXY. Still other people are born with external genitals that fall into the typical male/female categories, but their internal organs or hormones don’t.
Being intersex is a naturally occurring variation in humans and is also more common than most people realize. It’s hard to know exactly how many people are intersex, but estimates suggest that about 1-2 out of every 100 people born in the United States are intersex. That’s about the same number of people who are born with natural red hair.
Precum, also known as pre-ejaculate or pre-ejaculatory fluid, is a clear, sticky, mucus-like liquid that appears at the tip of the penis during sexual excitement or arousal. This fluid serves two main functions: Pre-ejaculate helps to provide lubrication during sexual intercourse and neutralizes acidity in the urethra (the tube from which urine and semen leave the penis), which helps the sperm in the semen survive. Pre-ejaculate is not the same thing as semen, but it can still contain some sperm cells, meaning there is a chance that it can cause a pregnancy. The best way to avoid this, and any STI transmission, is to wear a latex or latex free condom from the first moment of genital contact.
Squirting refers to the ejaculation of a person with a vulva and vagina, sometimes called “female ejaculation.” The fluid that is “squirted” is not urine (as some people believe), but rather comes from the Skene’s glands, which are located near the opening of the urethra. Squirting happens in about 1 out of 10 women – this doesn’t mean that more can’t / don’t orgasm, it just means that they don’t ejaculate when they do.
This is going to feel different for different people, so you will have to figure out what it feels like for you and your body. For people who are not sexually experienced, especially teens and young adults, it can be difficult to know when you’re going to ejaculate! The “pull out method” (withdrawing the penis from a partner’s body before ejaculation occurs) is already not the most effective way to prevent pregnancy, and it does not offer ANY STD protection. But if someone does not know when to pull out/when they are going to ejaculate, and they are only using the pull out method to prevent pregnancy, it is going to be even less effective.
It is completely normal for vaginas to have some sort of natural odor, and what is a normal odor for one person may be different for another. If you are a person with a vagina, you do NOT need to “douche” or clean the inside of the vagina with soap or other products. This can actually be harmful to the health of your vagina and increase the chances of getting some infections (which could make any smell much, much worse). The vagina is self-cleansing, so it will take care of cleaning itself. BUT, if you notice that your vagina smells differently than normal, you should get it checked out by your doctor.
Actually, girls (and people with vulvas) can get hard, or get an erection, the same way people with penises get an erection. Individuals who have a penis get erections when blood flow gets directed to their erectile tissues. Girls and people with vulvas also have erectile tissue in the clitoris, which is a small bundle of nerves located above the vagina and urethra. The difference is that when folks who have a vulva get erections, you can’t really see them, because most of the clitoris is inside the body.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend that someone with a vagina and ovaries have their first gynecologic visit between the ages of 13 and 15. This initial appointment is meant to educate patients and to establish a relationship with them. It will often include a discussion about menstruation (aka your period), puberty, and the prevention of pregnancy and STIs. Someone would not need to begin getting PAP smears, which is a way to screen for cervical cancer, usually until they are 21.
Sperm cells aren’t actually produced or stored in the penis at all! They are produced in the testicles and stored in the epididymis. Check out this diagram:
Testicles have very small tubes called seminiferous tubules; this is where sperm develop. As sperm cells mature and develop, they move through the epididymis (a coiled tube above each testicle). Sperm cells finish development in the epididymis. They are also stored in the epididymis until ejaculation, when they move to the vas deferens (or sperm duct).
It takes approximately 10 weeks for a single sperm cell to reach maturity. Every day, a healthy adult male can produce around 70 to 150 million sperm. Sperm cells that are not ejaculated eventually die and are reabsorbed by the body.
A pap smear is a test where a doctor checks your cervix for irregular cells. This is important to detect cervical cancer. Check out the diagram below:
The cervix sits at the top of the vagina, right below the uterus. This is done by putting this metal tool (a speculum) inside of you that allows the doctor to see your cervix and then taking a little rubber brush and tickling your cervix to collect cells. A good doctor will go slow and explain each step as along the way. It shouldn’t hurt, but might be a bit uncomfortable for a few minutes max. We think this discomfort is worth it to make sure you are healthy!
What a good question! We’re sure you’ve heard of periods in your ELA classes, but the periods we talk about in health class are different.
Menstruation, or getting your period, is when blood and tissue from the uterus comes out of the vagina. This usually happens every month (about every 28 days) after a person with a vagina goes through puberty. The menstrual cycle is the body’s way to prepare for pregnancy, even if the person is not pregnant. When someone gets their period, they can use products such as pads, tampons, menstrual cups, or period underwear to catch or absorb the blood, so they don’t stain their clothes.
You can learn more about periods here: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/menstruation or check out this AMAZE video.
There are no rules for human bodies when it comes to puberty. Everyone’s puberty journey is unique and that includes the start of menstruation. That being said, the average age of menarche (someone’s first period) is 12 and a half years old. 90% of people who menstruate will start between the ages of 11 and 14. Most often a person’s period will start about 2 years after their breasts begin to develop. There are a number of reasons why someone might start their period later than their peers or have inconsistent or irregular cycles. Just remember that there is not a universal norm when it comes to puberty and menstruation – overtime you will figure out what is normal for you!
Check out this AMAZE video to learn more about menstruation.
This is a great question, and one we get a lot. Thanks for trusting the TeensHELP team to get you the correct information – you can’t always trust every Google search result. The answer is… YES, some men can menstruate!
The key to answering this question is knowing and understanding the difference between sex, gender, and gender identity. It’s common for people to confuse these terms or uses them interchangeably, but they’re actually all different things.
Sex is a label — male or female — that someone is assigned by a doctor at birth based on the genitals they are born with. Gender is much more complex: It’s a social and legal status, and set of expectations from society, about behaviors, characteristics, and thoughts. This is also generally male or female. But instead of being about body parts, it’s more about how you’re expected to act, because of your sex. Gender identity is how you feel inside and how you express your gender through clothing, behavior, and personal appearance. It’s a feeling that begins very early in life.
Getting back to the question at hand, menstruating, also known as having a period, is not gender specific. Anybody who is assigned female at birth (AFAB) — meaning they have a uterus, ovaries, vagina, and vulva — can menstruate! This would include cisgender women (people who are AFAB and identify as women), some non-binary people (people who identify as or neither men nor women and have the necessary anatomy), and transgender men (people who are AFAB and identify as men).
Yes, a lot of people do use their own saliva (AKA spit) as lubrication when they masturbate. It’s free, it’s there when you need it, and your body creates a nearly endless supply of it! However, saliva may not provide the best results when it comes minimizing friction, as it can dry up quickly and not feel as slippery as other forms of lubrication. If this is the case, someone could try a body-safe lubricant like KY Jelly or Astro Glide.
Burning or discomfort after sex is not uncommon, but we wouldn’t call it normal. The delicate tissue of the vulva and vagina can sometime burn from the friction cause by sex. Even if lubricant is used, it may not be enough to prevent this. This burning sensation may take a day or two before it stop as the tissue heals. Vaginal burning or pain while urinating may also be a sign of some medical issue, like a yeast infection, UTI, or sexually transmitting infection (STI). This would be a good time to talk to your doctor about staying sexually healthy. A quick exam can determine if there is anything to be concerned about moving forward. If the irritation continues or happens again, your doctor will be able to help you rule out an allergy to the latex in the condom, the lubricant, or maybe even your partner’s body wash. Either way, whatever you think caused it, there is no reason to ignore it. Work with your partner and your doctor to feel better and hopefully avoid discomfort in the future.
This question has a lot of layers to it, but we’ll try our best to answer as clearly as possible.
Legally, no. In the state of New York, the age of consent for sexual activity is 17. Anyone under the legal age of consent is legally unable to consent to any sexual relations.
However, technically speaking, yes, 12-year-olds can have sex, although very, very few actually are. According to data from the Guttmacher Institute, only about 2% of 12-year-olds have ever had sex.
This is because the decision to have sex, especially safer sex, is a big one that comes with a LOT of responsibilities, including things like talking to your partner about pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection (STI) protection, buying and using condoms correctly, and figuring out what you would do in the case of an unintended pregnancy. Most 12-year-olds are not ready to deal with any of that stuff. Maybe ask yourself, are you?
We’d also advise you take some time to think about why you are thinking about having sex as a 12-year-old.
We hope this helps!
No one deserves to feel scared or pressured to do something they don’t want to do, especially when it comes to sex. Expressing yourself in a sexual way is a deeply intimate act. When you and your partner have taken the time to talk about the responsibilities that come with having sex, as well as what having sex means for your relationship, things after feel less scary. If you are still scared or have more questions, it is always ok to wait. Take the time to talk to someone you know and trust. You owe it to yourself to make sure you and your partner are both really ready. Also, if your partner keeps pressuring you, it may be time to rethink your relationship. Respect is a key element of a healthy relationship.
Starting a conversation about sex with your parents can sometimes be difficult, awkward, and maybe even a bit scary! However, if you feel comfortable enough to talk with your parents about sex, it is a great idea to discuss it with them.
To start that conversation, you could give your parents a heads-up that you want to talk. Say something like, “Can we have a private talk tonight?” That way you can be sure to have their full attention, and they know to take it seriously. If you feel more comfortable communicating through email, or text, go for it! Or you could try writing them a note or letter to start that conversation.
Think of questions you want to ask, and maybe even write them down first. You could ask them about what their parents taught them about sex, how to know when you’re in love, how to know when you’re ready to have sex, and how to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs. Also, tell them why you’re asking. Is it to try to understand what they expect from you? Is it to get some information? Is it to help you make a decision, or help a friend make a decision? Telling them why will stop them from making assumptions.
If they don’t respond well to the conversation, don’t forget that there is no age restriction on buying condoms and you don’t need parental consent (aka permission) to see a Planned Parenthood provider to talk about birth control options.
Check out this AMAZE video for some more ideas.
What a good question! There is no “best age” to masturbate, per se. Masturbation is a normal part of human development and a perfectly healthy activity at ANY age. In fact, studies show that babies often masturbate in the womb before they are even born! Just remember that masturbation should be done in private.
Check out this AMAZE video for more information about masturbation.
Sounds like you are curious about oral sex. Oral sex is when a person stimulates their partner’s genitals (penis, vulva, or anal area) with their mouth. Receiving oral sex feels different for everyone. It may lead some people to ejaculate (aka finish) or it may not. Giving oral sex is the same way. In the end, everyone who engages in sex will need to figure out what works and feels best for them and their partner. If you plan on engaging in oral sex, we recommend using a latex condom or dental dam for the best STI protection.
We love your curiosity! Thankfully, human physiology makes it really difficult for a person with a penis to be able to urinate (aka pee) while they are erected and keeps it from being able to ejaculate and urinate at the same time. During sexual arousal, muscles at the base of the bladder contract in order to close off the passageway from the bladder into the urethra, the tube through which urine and semen leave the body. This makes it impossible for urine to be released during ejaculation.
Yes, that is true. The anus is not a self-lubricating part of the human body (unlike the vagina and the mouth). This means that thin skin of the anus and rectum is prone to micro-tearing (and maybe some bleeding) if lots of personal lubrication is not used, or if someone tries to go too far, too fast. Unprotected anal sex also puts someone at risk for STDs like HIV. In fact, unprotected anal sex is riskier than unprotected vaginal sex what it comes to STD transmission because of this lack of lubrication and ease of tearing. In short, someone should always use a condom, extra lube, and practice patience, if they are going to participate in anal sex.
Thank you for bringing this up! The videos we show are very helpful in explaining and reinforcing what we talk about in class, but they are not perfect. While most people will transition out of abstinence (aka have some form of sex) at some point in their life, most does not mean all and there is nothing wrong with not having sex.
For those that don’t know, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or a low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. Asexual people and their needs, wants, and desires, are just as valid as allosexual people — those who regularly experience sexual attraction/desire. While some asexual people may engage in sexual activity for any number of reasons, others never do. You are the boss of your own body – you should never feel pressured into having sex that you don’t want.
Check out this AMAZE video for more information on asexuality.
There are many, many different pronouns that people may use. Thinking back to English class, a noun is a person, place, or thing, and a pronoun is a word used to replace a noun.
The most common pronouns we hear are he/him, she/her, they/them, and it. But there are also many others call “neopronouns”. A neopronoun is a word created to serve as a pronoun without expressing gender, like “ze” and “zir.” While neopronouns may not be as common as the others, there are a ton of options out there that people may choose to use! Check out these examples (only a small sample of possible pronouns):
Whatever pronouns you use are totally valid! Also, it is okay to try out a different set of pronouns, and later realize you no longer want to use them. Exploring gender and gender identity, including pronoun use, is a part of growing up.
You can also check out this AMAZE video that talks more about pronouns.
We love your curiosity, it’s not weird at all! Believe it or not, thousands of biologists, animal behavioralists, and other scientists have dedicated their lives to studying the sexual behaviors of animals. Genital stimulation (aka masturbation) is very common throughout the animal kingdom. Different forms of self and partner genital stimulation have been observed in the animal kingdom. Masturbation is particularly common for both male and female mammals (including cats and dogs) Animals engage in masturbation in a wide variety of ways, including using their paws, feet, flippers, tails, and sometimes using objects like sticks, pebbles, and leaves.
And yes, animals do ejaculate (aka cum) – this is how they can reproduce. The biological mechanics of conception in humans work just like that of other mammals. When a sperm cell (found in semen) meets and ovulated egg cell, pregnancy can occur.
Well, I can’t say for sure, but…
